American Idol 10: A Short Essay on Anger

So my schedule and my malfunctioning tivo have prevented me from being an active watcher this season. Luckily, I have random Saturdays which allow me to watch 4-5 episodes at once. This also allows me to fast forward through the drivel that occupies about half (who am I kidding - 9/10) of each episode. I was enjoying the new backup singers and J.Lo's crazy loud bracelets, and I was just going to go along and watch and try to catch up on the blogging next week.

Until now.

What. Was. That?! There is so much disaster going on here, I don't even know where to begin.

Let's start with anger. I've said far too many times that "Alone" needs to be retired. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're awesome. You are not Carrie Underwood. And on the Idol stage, that song is hers. Forever. Why can't you people get it through your heads? The Screamer (Jacob Lusk) needs to take it down about 20 notches. Also, his earrings looks like they're making his earlobes droop. That makes me uncomfortable. But not as uncomfortable as the wailing that keeps coming out of his mouth. I had wandered into the kitchen for a minute, and then he changed keys, and I looked around, thinking I had stepped on my cat or something. That's not good singing. Not good at all.

Zac Brown Band (Casey Abrams) needs to worry a little less about being different and just sing. Nirvana does not belong on American Idol. Come on. While I appreciate your efforts to go in an anti-Taylor Hicks sort of direction, you need to remember that this is a singing competition.

Zadora (Pia Toscano) is going to make me McPheever, isn't she? I'm going to love her, and then she's going to let me down when ZBB wins. And then she's going to flounder in the adult contemporary charts for the rest of her career. Ugh.

And finally, Floptastic (Paul McDonald), let's talk about you. If you point into the air one more time, I will come down to that theatre and rip your stupid blazer off and hit you in the head with it. And since there are tons of sequins and buttons on all of your clothes, I imagine this will hurt. Stop flopping around like a fool on that stage. Seriously, you are making me angry.

I know, I know. It's early. The wheat will eventually be separated from the chaff, and then I can just focus on J.Lo and her bracelets. But until then I'm going to be mad.

Mad.

SHOULD GO: At least 6 of these kids.