The Voice: In Which Stupid Hair Continues to Fight With All of Us

Ok, the final battle round. And apparently it's going to start with a Max Casella look-alive who makes the poor decision to wear a headband. I'm not sure when dudes decided to start wearing headbands (see Nathanial Marshall, circa American Idol season 8), but it's not good.

I suppose it's good for making sure one's hair isn't flat. Too bad there's not a similar tool for one's voice. Because nothing about that performance was good.

Oh shut up, Cee Lo. It's not "very tough". Send them both home.

Also, let's stop asking people to sing True Colors. Nothing good ever comes of it.

The one thing I'll say about that decision is kudos to Cee Lo for choosing NOT to pull a Shelton and send home the better performer, in favor of the person he wanted in the first place. Max/Jimmy/James/Whatever wasn't awesome, but he was definitely better than Wade. And even though Cee Lo had planned all along to send Wade through, I'm glad he did the right thing.

/kudos

1. Of course Robin Thicke (don't get me started on that jacket) wants to take Maroon Hat to prom. Because he's kind of a perv. Dude, you're married. Stop looking at her like that.

2. Come on Levine. That's not a big piano. And don't you do all that yoga? Why can't you move it, like, even a little bit. Lame.

3. What is that yellow stuff in Vibrato's hair? Is it some sort of island braid? Are we at Senor Frog's?

4. OK, MC. You know the name of the show, right? It IS about the voice. P.S. Christina, stop helping.

5. "This seems like straight up rock and roll." Uh...yeah. Good observation, Pickler. Sing it and stop whining.

6. If Jewel isn't happy with you (and the look on her face said it long before she tried to be diplomatic when calling you a wedding band), then you need to listen and fix it. Stop sucking.

SIDEBAR - Let's pause for a moment and discuss what the hell Christina was thinking when she decided to put the country duo with the MC. Part of me thinks the judges have a contest going to see who can make the weirdest pairing. This almost makes that sparkly CD look normal.

7. Ugh. Christina, you suck. (True, Pickler probably didn't need to be such a sore loser after the elimination, but they were robbed - and she knew it.)

8. Is that a sparkly Paul Bunyan shirt? Love it.

9. Nope. I can't say anything about that weird reggae thing. Any of it.

10. Yes I can. Who decided to chop that song up and move the lyrics around and break up phrases and generally make it all suck? Blake? Was that your fault? I refuse to judge the performances because Shelton did both singers a disservice. Boo. Boooooo.

11. Look, Green Day. Adam Lambert did the eyeliner/fingerless gloves/military jacket while you were still on tour. Why don't you try something original? Especially since you DID NOT DESERVE TO GO ON. Versatility, my foot.

12. You suck too, Cee Lo. I take back those earlier kudos.