American Idol 25-36: Results (No more headbands!)

It's hard to get riled up when things happen pretty much as you expect them to. Then again, when you expect things to be stupid and they are, there's still room for anger. I just can't decide where to direct it.

THE BEST SINGER OF ALL TIME was pretty much a given, so I'm glad they "revealed" it to us right away.

NAPOLEON BLIND-O-MITE (thanks, Erin) isn't actually that good of a singer, chooses poor songs, and is only passable on the piano. But, did you hear? He's BLIND! He can't see anything at all, the music just moves his soul - and mountains. I'm disappointed that all of America appears to have contracted Marlee Matlin syndrome and has left out a number of people that are better singers. Disappointed...but not surprised. (If there is a silver lining here, maybe there will be fewer group dance numbers. Or else they'll just make him do turns on a chair like they did tonight, while everyone runs circles around him. Awesome.)

And while we're on the subject of awesome, can we get rid of Blindy's brother? If I have to see his floppy hair and crazy smile one more time, I might throw something at my tv. You know he's going to walk out there with a homemade cardboard sign at some point. There are plenty of other people on stage - one of them can help him to his Ikea stool.

MENUDO was good and all, but let's retire that song from Idol, ok? They sing it every year, and it doesn't ever get less annoying. It's like they're pleading for votes, and all it makes me want is the sun to come down on them - very hard. And the fact that it got you in over my boy Apos'trophe, well, that just makes me hate it more.

And let's review the other members of the Top 12 before we get on to this wildcard nonsense, because the producers WILL. NOT. LET. US. FORGET. THEM.

WEEK 1:
Dead Wife Downey Jr.
Jane Mancini
Roughneck

WEEK 2:
Charo
WonderBread (number one in the race for the Archtastic Blah award)
WickedRaverSiriano

Does anyone think this looks like a winning group? No? Me neither.

WILDCARD NONSENSE

I was hoping that Jamie was right and that they'd stack the deck for women in the wildcard round. Because really - 2/3 men in the top 9? Not cool. Half of the voters are 11 year old girls who vote for Siriano because he's cute and apparently looks like Robert Whatshisname. These are the same girls that ALMOST LET DAVID ARCHULETTA WIN. They can't be trusted.

On the upside, my first two weeks of wildcard picks were spot on, with the unexpected, yet not unwelcome presence of Bette Davis Eyes. But she has some stiff competition with HSM3, BlondBjork and When Rabbit Howls. Wait - scratch that. I refuse to believe that the judges would actually put WRH into the Top 12, no matter how well she does tomorrow. Sad for Faux-anna Pacitti, because she definitely deserved another chance way more.

And I'm also sad for Apostrop'he, because he deserved to be in the finals way more than THAT KID WHO SINGS REALLY LOUD. Tight pants, Slumdog Idol and Dueling Timberlakes were pretty expected, but LOUD? Not so much.

Ok, prediction time. I think we need more women, so I'm going 2-1, on the assumption that no one royally sucks it up:

HSM3 (Jasmine)
BlondBjork (Megan)
Slumdog Idol (Anoop)

and if one of the chicks blows it

Dueling Timberlakes (Giraud)

And there we have it. See you tomorrow.