Idol Top 5 Results: In Which I Feel Vindicated

Exhausted from a marathon rehearsal, I was going to speed through the episode and go to bed. But then the beauty of the bottom three gave me so much joy that I got a second burst of energy around 1am. Thank you, America. You've made me very happy.

GROUP SONG: If Dueling Fedoras (and rosary?) had sung like this on Tuesday, he might have stuck around.

OBSERVATION #1: Did anyone else see the strange spotlight illuminating the corner of the band shell when Ryan was talking about winning a commemorative Idol Ford? I was hoping they would also raffle off a commemorative Idol upright bass, but then the lighting guy clearly got yelled at over his headset. Oh Keiren.

JUDGMENT: Wicked looked surprisingly subdued tonight, especially compared to everyone else (except MMM - does that dude own anything that isn't plaid?). Foreshadowing? Perhaps.

OBSERVATION#2: Ha! That was the best two group fakeout ever. Wicked clearly assumed that he was in first place, his "based on last night" caveat was even more beautiful - once Seacrest made the move. I frankly enjoyed watching the judges all shake their heads in disbelief. America didn't get it wrong kids...they've finally stopped listening to your nonsense.

CAMEOS: Natalie Cole: I'm not sure what that dress was. And I'm not sure if the end of the song was supposed to be on one pitch, or the several that you chose to treat us to. But you're a classy lady and infinitely better than what we saw last week. Plus, your obvious excitement to be on the Idol stage made me love you.

OBSERVATION #3: Bottom Two! Yes, I know that both Ruben and Fantasia spent some time in the bottom two (none of the other winners did, though), but this was still an indication that we might not have a Wicked victory. And that's the best news I've heard all day.

Hicks: Props for not punching Seacrest in the face when he decided that "you've lost some weight" was an appropriate greeting. Jerk. As for the song...it was typical Hicks-ian tomfoolery. (I miss you McPheever!) But it was still waaaaay better than -

Foxx: I had to fast forward through the second half of this craziness - but I held out as long as I could. Seriously? Autotune for THE ENTIRE SONG?! If I wanted to hear that, I would bust out some T-Pain. All your gyrating did not convince me that you might have love for a stripper.

RESULTS: Good job, America. I'll miss Fedoras, but the humble pie you served up tonight made it worth it. DWD in the Top Two? Maybe not so much. But I cheered anyway.

NEXT WEEK: Rock! with Slash (awesome), Daughtry (ok) and No Doubt (lame - unless Gwen decides to unleash some judgment a la Sanjaya). Allison is totally going to be in her wheelhouse for this one. And isn't about time to start singing two songs per contestant?