Idol Top 7 Results: In Which the Suspense Is Finally Over

You know, I'm thinking that the use of the judges save has rendered the remainder of this season completely suspense-free. Perhaps that's why the apathy set in.

True, I've always been a fan of Dueling Unicorns, but Simon is right - he's not going to win. And probably won't even get a record contract anytime soon. But at least we'll have one more week of piano magic. (Gliss!) And maybe next week, America will get it right and send home Slumdog and Lo Expectations.

GROUP SONG: It's like they knew he was being voted out, no? Otherwise why does he get the chorus both times? Foreshadowing? You mean the judges didn't make their decision on the spot? Shocking.

JUDGMENT: Is it me, or does Lo Expectations dress like a rich widow going to Vegas?

CAMEOS: Miley, if you're going to headbang, maybe you shouldn't wear a prom dress. And stop raising your hand in the air. We know the song is about climbing. What? You want me to talk about her singing? That's not singing. If I wanted to write about screeching cats, I would devote much more time to WickedRaverSiriano.

JHud: Sure. But why do you always choose that song to sing live? It's not very good.

RESULTS: Finally. No more singing for your life. And I'm happy - I really am. But I feel like each week marches closer and closer to a Wicked/Downey finale and that makes me sad.

NEXT WEEK: Disco. Wicked is going to be in his element and I will probably want to hurl something at my tv. Downey is guaranteed to do some crazy Taylor Hicks-ish dancing. And Slumdog is guaranteed to strut around the stage like an entitled Sigma Chi. But if anyone trots out MacAurthur Park, I will vote for them, no questions asked.