Idol Top 7 Part II: A Pool of Abdul

Disco night is never really good news, but it did give me Carrie Underwood's MacArthur Park, so I can't be totally down on it. This season was no different - one performance that I loved, and a bunch of others that make me glad I multi-tasked and started making my lunch for today in the next room.

Lo Expectations - "I’m Every Woman" by Chaka Khan - Oh come on, woman. Are you still seriously arguing? Again? Do you think that a new weave and "having fun" is all it takes to get votes? At this point in the competition, you actually have to be good. But there is a bright side to tonight's performance: I finally realized that you are ideally suited to be an American Idol backup singer.

MatthewsMayerMraz - "She Works Hard For the Money" by Donna Summer - Love it. If this kid doesn't get signed (because I'm realistic and doubt that he will win) I'm going to be mad. Although I could have done without the remnant from Simon Cowell shirt collection, I get that it's part of his beachcomber vibe. And now that it's not 40 degrees outside, I'm on board.

OBSERVATION #1: I get what Paula was trying to say about the women's department, but did she have to sound so crazy? And does Simon always have to say "I have no idea what she just said"? It's starting to get old.

Dead Wife Downey, Jr. - "September" by Earth, Wind and Fire - I just caught Anwar's ill-fated Season 4 performance of this very song a few weeks ago on the TV Guide channel. And while DWD's version did not make me cringe in the same manner as Anwar's step-touch dancing and bell bottom jeans, it still wasn't great. DWD is destined to be a Christian rock Tom Jones. Lots of swagger, lots of yelling, and lots of looking up toward the sky. Our God is an awesome god and whatnot. He reigns from heaven above, apparently while wearing a patterned blazer.

OBSERVATION #2: Always on pitch? Really, Paula? Are we talking about the same dude?

Charo - "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer - You just know the only thing in Charo's head at the beginning of the song was "I'm sitting on the stairs while they're moving! This is so cool!" And ignoring her strange akimbo position, I was a little jealous - riding on moving sets is a blast. As for the singing, I was on Simon's side - this was a good performance. The thing about Charo is that she never changes the way she sounds (a la Overmeyer), but each week's performance is different. One criticism - I worry that time spent with a stylist would do more harm than good. (I wear the same thing every day, so maybe I'm not one to ask. I am, however, one to judge.) Those vinyl leggings should not be worn anywhere that you can't score some X.

WickedRaverSiriano - "If I Can’t Have You" by Yvonne Elliman - I'm done. There is no need to screech a high note in the middle of a good performance that might have given me a change of heart, just to prove that you can do it. We know you have range. Now stop screaming. And stop this back and forth manic/meaningful idol playlist and give me something different. A two-note singer is no better than a one-note singer.

OBSERVATION #3: Paula is not on her game tonight. She's bordering on embarassing.

Dueling Timberlakes - "Stayin’ Alive" by the Bee Gees - Dude. I'm glad you got saved, if for the simple fact that the save can no longer be used if Lo is eliminated. But this was not the way to bring it. Remember Human Nature? Remember So Small? Yeah, me neither. The save (combined with the red leather jacket and the jaunty fedora) may give you the momentum you need to stay for one more week, but that's all you get. And here's a tip - try some cardio before attempting a dance routine like that.

OBSERVATION #4: Never mind, Paula. Kara takes the cake with her "Saturday Night Live" comment.

Slumdog Fratboy - "Dim All the Lights" by Donna Summer - Yawn. Your attempt at facial hair has been completely negated by your pepto shirt and banker collar shirt. Way to make disco boring.

SHOULD GO (and hopefully) WILL GO: Slumdog and Lo, but I wouldn't disagree with a shocking DWD outster.

TONIGHT: Archtastic, KC and some other disco folk, and a group number choreographed by Paula Abdul. Um. Woo.