American Idol Top 6: The Day That Don't Impress Me Much

If I didn't know the producers are enjoying the tension (or whatever you call it) between Simon and Kara, I'd expect Ellen to sit in the 3rd seat next week. Because the interrupting and the annoying were ramped up tonight higher than they've ever been before. Kara. Settle. Down.


On an unrelated note (you know, because we're only partly here to talk about anything relating to music) I enjoy Shania Twain. I would enjoy it if someone rocked "When" or "No One Needs to Know Right Now". But I have a feeling I'm going to be let down. Or the Screamer is going to put together a medley of the two just to ruin them for me. (Actually, I've got her pegged for "Man I Feel Like a Woman" or "Any Man of Mine" just for the sheer comedy.)

Also? Shania's hair is incomprehensibly large.

You're Still the One ("You're Still the One") - OK Dawg, for me for you, this wasn't as awesome as I wanted it to be. Especially at the beginning (that first note was painful). But since the judges are all for sending you to the finals, I'm still on board. And I voted for you many many times tonight. Just remember - a solid second place finish is nothing to sneeze at. But first is better.

Big Poppa ("It Only Hurts When I Breathe") - Man, you cannot start off every song originally sung by a woman in that "This Woman's Work" falsetto. (That's right kids - keep harping on Maxwell, but Kate Bush did it first, and she did it better.) As soon as you did that, I stopped listening. I know Ellen says it sounded like Luther Vandross, and I'd probably agree. Since I don't love Luther's music, that's probably why I don't care about you anymore.

SIDEBAR #1 - Geez, does every performance have to be a ballad tonight?

Goldilocks ("Don't") - Oh well. It was a killer performance. And there was some nice vibrato control. Good job Goldy. But still...I'm bored. Maybe it's because I've been drinking for the past nine hours and I've run out of bourbon.

Ginger Vitis ("No One Needs To Know") - Yeeeesssss. A) We're behind you and your earth mother ways. B) If your boyfriend doesn't man up soon, he's a douche. C) Even though you slowed this down a little too much (and went a little TOO country) for my liking, I'm glad you went for something that sounded modern instead of just wailing Janis-style on another ballad. But can you please tell the Kara-doppelganger to pull away from the backup notes just a bit?

SIDEBAR #2 - Let's take a look at what just happened. The judges learned their lesson with Mindy Doo. You can't pimp them out every single week and expect them to win. And now they're trying to reverse psychology the audience into ramping up the votes for Ginger. It might work.

The Infant ("It's In the Way You Love Me") - Oh good. Another ballad. Guys, you're letting me down this week. It's country week for crying out loud. Although this is kind of snoozy, it sounds pretty good and that was some excellent mic work. HOLD THE PHONE. I just remembered the words to this song and had to rewind. Did The Infant actually decide to sing "it's in the way we make love"? Oh ha ha ha. "The way you show your love." OK then. Thanks for going with class over inappropriate and creepy.

SIDEBAR #3 - Way to step on my point, Kara.

The Screamer ("Any Man of Mine") - Wow. (To be fair, I typed that before this performance even started - I'm just preparing myself mentally for the onslaught.) No. Stop. Stop that. Oh come on. You can't just take a mediocre (which is being generous) karaoke performance and top it with some screams at the end and call it good. And judges? What are you doing? That was poor. Enough with the pimping.

SIDEBAR #4 - I'm kind of enjoying the new trend of having the mentor sit right there next to the judges so we can see their reaction. Shania had some good moments. Moments when she did not look as pleased as she might be leading us to believe.

BOTTOM 3 - If it were up to the producers: Goldy, The Infant, Big Poppa
If it were up to me: The Screamer, The Infant, Big Poppa
If it were up to America, who has a history of being stupid: YSTOIL, Goldy, Big Poppa

SHOULD GO: Screamer
WILL GO: I'm going to be bold and say that country week and singing for his mother has saved The Infant for one more week. It's probably Big Poppa's time to go.

TOMORROW NIGHT: Rascall Flatts, Sons of Sylvia (eh), Lady Antebellum (yeah!) and...Shakira? Not Shania? Boo.