American Idol 1-12: Results

Full disclosure: I first watched this on mute in a bar. Then when I got home, I tivoed to the good stuff. Let's be honest - I heard those songs last night, and they weren't that good. I don't want to hear them again. But let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that we didn't have to waste time fast forwarding through Stevie and/or Casey again after they were eliminated.

GROUP SONG: At least it wasn't a bad medley from some decade of yesteryear. But did anyone else get the feeling that Tatiana has never heard of Jason Mraz? Snapping, swaying, the realization that when the girls sang in groups of three that it was just not good...it could have been worse. But I have long said that Jason's songs are meant for an ensemble, and this proved me right. (Yes, it would be better without at least 6 bad singers in the group, but whatev.)

JUDGMENT: Ricky, I could have been down with you and the bunch. But not when you decided to bust out those skinny jeans. Bad choice. And what was that thing hanging from Jackie's ear? I think it was actually something leaking out of her brain.

CAMEOS: Yes, I love you Carly. But I have already heard you sing this song. You sang it on the finale, remember? How about something new? Oh well. Have you heard all of the Carrie/David duet? I'd pay money for that. You can view it by clicking here.

RESULTS: Now that they're in the top 12, it's time for some nicknames. 2/3 correct (Dead Wife Downey Jr. and Jane Mancini), and Michael (Roughneck) was one of my choices for the #3 spot. I have a feeling we'll see Ricky (Tight Pants) and Anoop (Slumdog Idol) in the wildcard round. And thank the sweet lord we've seen the last of Tatiana (hereafter known as "When Rabbit Howls" - look it up).

And yes, I know Downey and Slumdog are not exactly politically correct. But I don't care. Thanks to Erica and Jenni for the assists.