I wish that someone would take these broken wings and learn to fly again. I know it's sad when I fast forward through the performances and watch the commercials, but that baby is hilarious. If this is how the entire season is going to go, I'm going to need a lot more vodka.
JASMINE MURRAY: Well at least Jasmine started a trend. Once she chose a song poorly everyone seemed to fall in line.
MATT GIRUAD: And then Matt added his own twist to the proceedings: way too much vibrato. Doesn't anyone have any control over their voice. Come on.
JEANINE VAILES: I have a feeling there's a reason that we haven't seen you sing a SINGLE NOTE until tonight. (I actually had a really mean sentence here, but I think it's too early to show my true colors.) I don't think America has seen enough of you to give you another chance, so I won't kick you while you're down.
NICK/NORMAN: You're a joke. Go away.
ALLISON IRAHETA: This is one of those songs that should have been retired after the first time that Carrie Underwood blew it away. All I could think the entire time was "Not Carrie. Not Carrie. Not Carrie." Because it wasn't. It was loud. Too loud. And get a real haircolor, kid.
KRIS ALLEN: Ho hum...
MEGAN JOY CORKREY: OK, I like a nice font as much as the next guy (well, probably more than the next guy, especially if it's a nice sans serif - but I digress), so I hope that Megan goes back to her typesetter. Because, oh look, it's another bad song choice with too much vibrato. Awesome.
MATT BREITZKE: Tonic? Really? OK then.
JESSE LANGSETH: Did anyone else know that this chick is Johnny Lang's sister? Does anyone care? No? Me neither. Tread softy...Because you do not sing a song covered by my favorite Gwyneth and expect to get away with it. Thank the sweet lord JLang sounded more Kim Carnes-y, otherwise I would have been seriously angry instead of mildly peeved.
JUSTIN GUARINI: Wait, what? Who? Kai Kalama? Nope, I got nothin.
MISHAVONNA HENSON: Well Train covers never turn out to be better than the original...which isn't really saying much. But if I have to choose a favorite tonight, this is it. Eh.
ADAM LAMBERT: Although I enjoy visiting the Hot Chicks with Douchebags site for my daily dose of tool-dom, I prefer that they stay silent. I do not want them singing on my TV. I especially do not want them SCREAMING ON MY TV. I had actually gotten really close to a good nap during the last few songs, and this just ruined it. And it's really not fair that I had to open my eyes to witness the hardcore douchebaggery going on from your Christian Siriano'ed hair to your unlaced Army Surplus boots. And don't think I didn't notice the fingerless gloves. Boo.
People that got my votes: the people who make Ketel One.
Every fiber of my being wishes that I could pretend this week never happened. Instead, I'd like to watch the results show tomorrow to find that Slumdog Idol (Anoop) and Elliott Lite (Braddy) got more write in votes than anyone else. And Mishavonna can stick around, because she annoys me the least (but still a little bit with the floppy hat she insists on wearing everywhere). Sadly, I doubt that will happen. So if I have to make a prediction...
TOP TWO: Adam Lambert & Allison Iraheta
#3: Mishavonna/Justin/Matt
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment