Seriously, Ryan? What was that? It seems that each episode starts with more and more reasons to make me say "Whaaaaa?" Maybe the producers are trying to get me drunk before the madness even starts. Because if The Dawg's incessant use of the words "hot" and "yo" doesn't make you pick up the glass, Kara's inexplicably gigantic ponytail will.
Ginger Vitis/Tough Cookie (Crystal Bowersox) - "Long As I Can See The Light" by CCR: Is this hammond week? Not that I'm complaining. But come on, Rickey. Let's mix it up a bit, OK? As phase one of the makeover begins, Ginger starts with some teeth whitening (hence the attempt to transition away from week 1's label) and some excellently applied makeup, resulting in a decidedly Jewel Kilcher look. And as we all know, I'm a huge fan of the Jewel. (Shut up.) Awesome performance as always, Ginger. Next week, how about some "Love and Gravy?"
SIDEBAR #1: "Misunderestimated?" Simon?
Way Too Smiley Cyrus (Haeley Vaughn) - "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus: Uh...it's no surprise that you make flowered headbands. And it's no surprise that you decided to rock the Miley, because you're, what? 16? (Don't think I didn't notice the other teenager in the group singing along from up on high.) When this first started off, I was enjoying the control - although I paused to say "Come on, can't you hit that high note?" Oh. I see. Never mind. Stick to making headbands.
Shampoo Girl (Lacey Brown) - "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer: Let's get the technical stuff out of the way, so I can go refill my screwdriver (btw, I'm watching this in the AM). Not a great starting note, and you really need some breath support. Sixpence music doesn't feature particularly complex phrasing, so you should be able to make it through each line without losing steam. Still, karaoke aside (ugh, I'm agreeing with The Dawg) this wasn't a bad performance. But don't forget - even TMB had some good weeks. Remember that as you're dialing, America.
SIDEBAR #2: Damn it, Kara. Now she's going to sing REM next week.
Blair Waldorf (Katie Stevens) - "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Ray: I love me some alto. Just stay down there and develop your lower notes. Yeah yeah, Dawg, she can sing the higher notes too, but let's listen to something different.
SIDEBAR #3: Seacrest, stop trying to pimp Justin Bieber. I'm sure he hearts you.
Crazy Cat Lady (Didi Benami) - "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers: Uh...was the beginning of the verse all weird to anyone else? This was a strange attempt to try and mimic Brooke/Barefoot Potbelly from a couple of years ago. You know who gives you the best advice? Ellen. Because she said exactly what I'd said as this performance began: "I wish this had been Lovely Day." Your vocal quality is awesome - get back behind your guitar and find some better songs.
Leo-not-a Lewis (Michelle Delamor) - "Arms Wide Open" by Creed: Don't judge me. I totally have this cd. I don't care when you say - you can't help but enjoy some Scott Stapp. But let's talk, Leonota. This song is about a man finding out he's about to be a father. I bet you don't understand what that's like. And you left the mic stand without making the sign of the cross even once. Epic fail.
Bride of Frankenstein (Lily Scott) - "A Change Is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke: Come on Season 9. Did none of you watch last year's final performance episode with Kris and Adam? In but one week, we've covered both of their "meaningful" songs. And not that these songs can't be touched anymore...just give us some more space, ok? Oh. The song is over. It was fine. Good, even. Points for rocking the twelve string. And for all the other instruments.
Why are the judges going so crazy for this? Was it more awesome than I remember? Maybe I'll rewind.
Nope. Thanks for validating my opinion, Simon.
90210 Naomi (Katelyn Epperly) - "The Scientist" by Coldplay: Yeeeeeeessss. Sure, a bit too slow, and there were no T's at the end of your phrases, but this is by far my favorite performance of the night. The slowness worked to your advantage - it showed America that you really can sing. Natasha Bedingfield does a nice cover of this, so I was nervous...and you more than rocked it, Naomi. Well done. (P.S. I hope you've been to the Carlos O'Kelly's in WDSM. Then we can be friends.)
SIDEBAR #4 - "I loved that you played the guitar." Oh Ellen. Thanks for bringing us back a little bit of Paula.
SIDEBAR #5 - Simon and I are on the same page today. But of course he knows about Natasha's version.
Paige Miles - "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson: This is one of my favorite Kelly songs. And the beginning was pretty darn good. The end? Not so much. But. I can kind of see why Simon says you have a great voice. It's just not showing up much right now. You might be in trouble this week. The Idol voters do not take kindly to people who attempt to channel Kelly. As such, I am not going to spend time figuring out a witty name for you. Instead, I will go freshen up this bloody mary.
Mohawk Glass Blower (Siobhan Magnus) - "Think" by Aretha Franklin: *jaws clenched* No. Don't tamper with my McPheever. I'm going to sit here with my arms crossed.
.....
Nice note at the end, but I'm not buying it. And I just listened to McPheever's live performance. She had peaks and valleys and sass and soul. Mohawk? No.
SHOULD GO: Smiley/Shampoo
SHOULD BE WORRIED: Paige/Blair/Leonota
WILL GO: Shampoo/Paige
Thursday, March 4, 2010
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