Idol 11: Ten Episodes in One Day (Week 2)

WEEK 2 - Year You Were Born (1983-1995). Always a good time. Plus, I enjoy that Tyler has stolen a page from the J.Lo Kohl's line with his sparkly hat and pant suit ensemble. (Jackson, I'm going to ignore another stupid pin. Please stop that next week.)

Actually, in googling to find a picture of the hat ensemble, apparently both Tyler and J.Lo frequently rock a wide-brim hat. But who wore it first? Who wears it better? This is a chicken and egg situation that is going to require some more research.

Matthew Matthews (Hard To Handle): Look! It's not all a Matthews impersonation. And I can even understand most of these words. And there's a Hammond. AND he didn't pick up the microphone stand and start walking around like so many before him have done. Quality.

Jasmine 2.0 (Turn the Beat Around): As soon as this started up, I got some scary Haley Scarnato flashbacks. This performance was fine, but the real question is why does she need both a handheld and a body mic? A body mic which is just thrown right there in her ribbon sash thingy? I don't get it.

Rolly's (Right Here Waiting): Well, that's a nice suit, at least.

Ill-Advised Fedora (Let's Stay Together): Not having watched most of last season when Pia's elimination McPheevered me, I don't remember. But isn't this chick just like that other raspy one who came in third? Hm.

This Woman's Work (Endless Love): Something about this outfit isn't working for me. Also, way to choose the most boring song ever.

The Amazon (One Sweet Day): Oops. Spoke too soon.

ABSTJD (Broken Heart): Sure, that was good. But seriously, HOW do you put on those pants? I'm with Steven. I didn't feel that either. Perhaps there's a reason that White Lion never rocketed to super stardom?

Pink Streaks 11.0 (Heaven): Yes, darkening the streaks was a good plan. But if one isn't careful, one runs the risk of Overmeyer-ing. And that's not a position one wants to be in. Especially with a weird performance.

LEGAL SIDEBAR: Ol' Man River (Somewhere Out There): This was anticlimactic. I wanted him to be led off the stage in cuffs. But instead you make me listen to freaking Somewhere Out There?! Where's the drama? Where's the controversy? Boo, producers. Boooooo.

Gretchen Wilson (Love Sneakin' Up On You): Sorry, I was busy looking for pictures of big floppy hats. But this was nice background music.

Mantasia (When a Man Loves a Woman): If I wanted to see someone peel a crawfish, I'd be watching the Food Network. Plus, I hope he got some time to wash his hands backstage. Stop making him try to eat them, Seacrest.

That notwithstanding, WHY did you have to do that weird church striptease? That was uncomfortable. Most of this post has apparently been about fashion, and you just put the icing on the cake.

Oh right, sure that was a good performance. The best Idol performance ever, Jennifer? No. But it was good.

Very Tiny (The Power of Love): There were a few fun Celine-isms in this performance. Including a chest hit. But that last note was NOT a Celine worthy finish. Sad. (Wait, were the judges smoking crack? Did they eat too much bad crawfish? Blew that out the box? No. You're pitchy, Jackson.)

SHOULD GO: The Amazon

Oooh...do we not have to watch a group performance? That would be awesome.

DEMI LOVATO: What is this? Why so much vibrato? And so much hair? And such a lyrically complex chorus (cough)? And a Guns N Roses t-shirt to show you're hardcore?

Geez.

DAUGHTRY: I always liked this guy. I'm sorry he's getting sued. I also feel a little bad that I only bought his first CD. I'm usually a little more supportive than that. Oh well.

ELIMINATED: The Amazon (Sorry, you never had a chance with the Judges. But I'm glad someone convinced you to put on some flats. Now that you're not stuck next to all those other tiny contestants, you should totally own your height.)