Let me say it now: I don't care how fashionable this is. I'm not doing it.
OK, we're in the home stretch here, so I'm going to power through.
This Woman's Work (I Like It) - Oh whatever. I can't stand this falsetto crap. So I went to the kitchen to make some microwave popcorn. And this is one of those times I wish I couldn't see/hear my TV from my kitchen. Bleh.
Pink Streaks 11.1 (I Want To Know What Love Is) - I was hoping that pink hair thing last week was just a fluke. But no, it's back for the second week in a row. (I thought we were rid of it after makeover week!) And while I'm passionately against streaked hair, I find that I'm indifferent to the vocals each week.
ISLANDS IN THE STREAM - Yes. This is an awesome song. And they're doing gr - Wait. What is that?! No. NO. Why more pink streaks? Dammit, Redneck. Why do you have to ruin everything?
Matthew Matthews (That's All) - Well, it's always a good thing when I prefer an Idol performance to the original. Granted, the bar was set pretty low with this one, because I think Phil Collins is lame, but still. I enjoyed this.
Also, you know I'm not going to say anything bad about MM unless he seriously screws up. So there's that.
I'M SO EXCITED - This was a good performance. (But the halfhearted pyro was just sad.) Maybe So Tiny should try singing some more uptempo songs instead of pretending to sustain those long notes.
Mantasia (If You Don't Know Me By Now) - Oh come on. What is that jacket? For the second week in a row, you're making some really poor choices. Also, from Wikipedia: ""If You Don't Know Me by Now" is a song written by Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff and recorded by the Philly soul musical group Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, which became their first hit after being released as a single in 1972 topping the R&B chart and peaking at number three on the Pop chart." Sooooo...80s? Now you're going to make me rewind and listen to the Jimmy session. Oh, I see. You're giving the credit to Simply Red. 1989. Well, I would have been more angry if you'd said "It was made famous by Patti LaBelle in 1985." So thanks for not going there.
Jasmine 2.0 (How Will I Know) - Sure. Good singing. (Actually, great singing.) And I suppose you get some credit for modernizing an 80s look without making me throw my glass at the screen. So...ok.
SIDEBAR #1 - STOP NAMEDROPPING RANDY. JUST STOP IT.
SIDEBAR #2 - I was going to say something else for that previous sidebar, but then Jackson just made me mad.
STOP DRAGGIN' MY HEART AROUND - From Wikipedia "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around was the first single from Stevie Nicks' debut solo album Bella Donna. It was written by Tom Petty and Mike Campbell as a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers song, but Jimmy Iovine, who was also working Stevie Nicks at the time, arranged for her to sing on it. Petty sang with Nicks in the chorus and bridge, whilst his entire band played on the song."
SIDEBAR #3 - Yes, I'm relying on Wikipedia a lot at this hour. But I'm trying not to be bored. And don't forget, I'm indifferent to both Stevie's Kindred Spirit and Stevie nicks music in general. But yes, this song was perfect for both SKS and MM.
So Small (What a Feeling) - Yes, this is better. No one is going to say "Oh that Irene Cara - you just don't touch her songs." And FINALLY, the sustained notes are working, at least when the tempo picked up. J.Lo is right. Let everything go and the whole song will come together.
I KNEW YOU WERE WAITING - You know, I'll say this for the duets: they're much better suited for each singer than those stupid trios from last week. I'm almost not mad that they're clearly being used to fill up a two hour show with 12 songs rather than just letting me go to bed earlier after 90 minutes.
SIDEBAR #4 - Randy, I hate you.
ABSTJD (Time After Time) - I can't help but remember Nadia Turner singing this (and rocking it) and then being voted out. Yes, this is better that that performance, but she had weird hair too, so it's some risky business.
Wait, what did the drummer do? Dammit, I'm going to have to rewind and watch again.
Yeah, that was some kickass drumming. And a good high note that I didn't notice the first time. What do you want from me? This is my ninth episode of the day.
Redneck Woman (Wind Beneath My Wings) - You were in the bottom three last week, and this is what you choose to trot out? Yes, I love a pedal steel, but even it's not enough to make this work.
Oh fine. I'll forgive you this time, because those last notes were killer. But I'm not standing up. Or wiping tears from my eyes. (Yes, I'm looking at you, J.Lo.)
BOTTOM THREE: Stevie's Kindred Spirit, This Woman's Work, So Small
SHOULD GO: This Woman's Work
SIDEBAR #5 - Oooh, they're still showing reruns of N3MBERS? I can get behind that.
SIDEBAR #6 - What is with these montages we have to have at the beginning of every results show, underscored by some song that has nothing to do with anything?
J.LO VIDEO - Good times. I actually can't wait to see her do this live. Because she will tear up the stage.
GLAD YOU CAME - I like this song. I especially like how the last word of every line is the first word of the next line in the bridge. And have you seen this video? It's a party. Makes me want to go to Ibiza.
Wait, So Small has a pink streak too? WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO ME?
PICKLER - Ha! Remember Pickler back in the day? Look what a few years can do. Maybe we should raise the minimum age again, and let the 16 year olds practice a little longer.
ELIMINATED: This Woman's Work (Finally. Sorry, J.Lo.)
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